Good morning, consumers--
If there's one thing I've learned from dealing with the purchasing system, it's that you can't use it to pay a dude to kill your brother-in-law because he borrowed your blender for 2 frickin' weeks and still hasn't returned it.
I've also learned that most folks still have not updated their profiles. If you aren't sure how to update the shipping address, please swing by my office and I'll hook you up. All it will cost you is a new blender. Or the name of a cheap hit man.
Cheers,
Dude
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A compendium of emails received from our department secretary. Not for the faint of heart. Or the humorless.
Please note: all of these emails are real. They have been edited only to remove identifying information. If you find any offensive, take it up with his dudeness.
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