Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Teaching assistantship available


Ah, the beginning of Spring. A time when a man's mind turns to thoughts of love. And me, I sure do love slathering myself with walrus fat while listening to a bootleg recording of Ethyl Merman belching "There's No Business Like Show Business." But what I don't love is when rats heed the siren's call of Ethyl Merman's voice and begin to gnaw away at my walrus-fat-encrusted flesh. I guess life is all about the give and take.

To celebrate Spring, perhaps you'll enjoy this TA announcement.



Wednesday, March 09, 2011


What up, homies--

I'm forwarding this e-mail about a job opportunity for a non-profit organization because the people in charge of the non-profit organization have incriminating photos of me dressed as Lady Gaga dancing with the corpse of Bea Arthur. What makes the photo incriminating is that the color of my shoes completely clashes with the veal cutlet dress I'm wearing.