Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Hola, Studerinos--

With all of the horrible weather that's been hitting the Midwest lately, here is a very helpful tip: When you hear a tornado siren, more than likely it would be really easy to loot any nearby store. I like to think that the possibility of getting sucked away in a funnel cloud is worth the risk to steal a Twix and a 40-ouncer.

If the weather doesn't continue to look bleak today, you may want to attend the seminar in the attached announcement.

Pouring out some of my 40 for my fallen tornado victim homies,


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Please Forward

Buenos dias, lads and lasses--

Here's some notice for a symposium. Since they don't have mud wrestling at this thing, I didn't bother to actually read what it's all about.




Greetings, Studes--

Some people are bitter that it's so cold in mid-May, but not me. The cool weather gives me a few more opportunities to wear the special sweater my Aunt Bertha crocheted using live voles, fur that fell out as a result of animals getting chemotherapy, and orangutang areolas. Will I be styling? You better believe it!

You can always warm up by staying inside and attending this workshop on the environment.

Snuggly warm,