Monday, April 29, 2013


Hi, everybody—

Now that summer is right around the corner, people’s thoughts are turning to fun outdoor festivities.  And nothing screams outdoor festivities quite as much as eating raw bacon that has been sitting in a sweltering McDonald’s dumpster for 3 days.  After hallucinating from eating too much gammy bacon, the thought arose, “Hey, let’s see if folks want to attend a baseball game.




Thursday, April 11, 2013

I'm off. But enough about my mental state...

Greetings, y’all—

I wanted to let you know that I will be away for a vacation to Florida starting next Tuesday. So if you have any pressing matters, please let me know tomorrow so I can try to take care of everything before I head out.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to figure out the best alcohol choice for my mom to drink before I take her for her first tattoo.  I think I’ll go with her favorite—rubbing alcohol and Fresca.