Monday, June 13, 2011

Auf Widersehen, y'all

Good day to you, beings--

I'm sure if any of you come to my office for business purposes from this Wednesday until next Tuesday, you'll probably think, "Oh, I bet Dude is hanging out with his mother." In actuality I will be under my desk, curled up in a fetal position, and crying because I was not selected to be the grand marshal for the Men Whose Baby Toes Are Bigger Than Their Big Toes Parade held every summer solstice on the grounds of the Wilkinson Nervous Hospital. Like I can help it that my middle toe is bigger than my big toe and baby toe combined!

Aloha, yo,