Xerox machine

Are you looking for the Xerox machine upstairs? Answer me! Are you?! Don't look away! It's nothing to be ashamed of. At some point in every person's life, they seek the comfort, warmth, and toxic toner fumes of a good copier. So if you'd like to use the upstairs copier, it's now right in the main office instead of down the hall outside my door. This makes things easier for you, but now I have to huff my own toner cartridge in order to get my lungs and brain to bleed in that special way that makes the lights dim and my mouth foam.