There have been complaints that someone has been smoking in the fourth floor hallway. I know I'm not at fault because when I drag winos up there, I douse them with enough flammable substances so they burn clean.
If by some chance you are smoking inside the building, please go outside to light your squares. Because smoking inside is naughty and morally reprehensible. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to round up a few winos...
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A compendium of emails received from our department secretary. Not for the faint of heart. Or the humorless.
Please note: all of these emails are real. They have been edited only to remove identifying information. If you find any offensive, take it up with his dudeness.
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