Studes--
Ah, the beginning of Spring. A time when a man's mind turns to thoughts of love. And me, I sure do love slathering myself with walrus fat while listening to a bootleg recording of Ethyl Merman belching "There's No Business Like Show Business." But what I don't love is when rats heed the siren's call of Ethyl Merman's voice and begin to gnaw away at my walrus-fat-encrusted flesh. I guess life is all about the give and take.
To celebrate Spring, perhaps you'll enjoy this TA announcement.
Enjoy,
Dude
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Apply!
What up, homies--
I'm forwarding this e-mail about a job opportunity for a non-profit organization because the people in charge of the non-profit organization have incriminating photos of me dressed as Lady Gaga dancing with the corpse of Bea Arthur. What makes the photo incriminating is that the color of my shoes completely clashes with the veal cutlet dress I'm wearing.
Cheers,
Dude
I'm forwarding this e-mail about a job opportunity for a non-profit organization because the people in charge of the non-profit organization have incriminating photos of me dressed as Lady Gaga dancing with the corpse of Bea Arthur. What makes the photo incriminating is that the color of my shoes completely clashes with the veal cutlet dress I'm wearing.
Cheers,
Dude
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Panel Discussion
Studes--
I know! I know! You're probably thinking, "If Dude is sending us an announcement about a discussion on urban food models, he's probably going to mention eating hobos." That couldn't be more untrue. I'm so focused on coming up with a new recipe for rat chili and crack ho gumbo that I haven't given hobos a second thought.
But if they do mention eating hobos at the panel discussion, please let me know.
Ciao (or I should say chow),
Dude
I know! I know! You're probably thinking, "If Dude is sending us an announcement about a discussion on urban food models, he's probably going to mention eating hobos." That couldn't be more untrue. I'm so focused on coming up with a new recipe for rat chili and crack ho gumbo that I haven't given hobos a second thought.
But if they do mention eating hobos at the panel discussion, please let me know.
Ciao (or I should say chow),
Dude
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Special Lecture Thursday
Greetings, Studes--
I don't know about you, but I find it appalling that now that we're sufficiently dug out from last week's blizzard that people suddenly find it's not okay to eat dead soccer players. People can be so uptight. But not those soccer players.
Since we're dug out from the blizzard, you can attend the lecture detailed in this message.
Bon apetit,
Dude
I don't know about you, but I find it appalling that now that we're sufficiently dug out from last week's blizzard that people suddenly find it's not okay to eat dead soccer players. People can be so uptight. But not those soccer players.
Since we're dug out from the blizzard, you can attend the lecture detailed in this message.
Bon apetit,
Dude
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Workshop
Hey, Studes--
Now that the Bears are out of the Superbowl picture, it's time to start focusing on something just as exciting: the beginning of the National Leper Hockey League season! Like me, I'm sure you're eager to see another face off at center ice.
But if that ain't your cup of tea, you can always go to this workshop instead.
Go Lepers!
Dude
Now that the Bears are out of the Superbowl picture, it's time to start focusing on something just as exciting: the beginning of the National Leper Hockey League season! Like me, I'm sure you're eager to see another face off at center ice.
But if that ain't your cup of tea, you can always go to this workshop instead.
Go Lepers!
Dude
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Workshop
Hey, Studes--
The first snow of the season is poised to hit us today, which can mean only one thing: frozen hobo slushies for everyone! Of course that's only if the flesh doesn't thaw when I dump the bodies in the wood chipper.
Unrelated to snow is the attached announcement for some sort of workshop. The first 20 attendees will get free hobo slushies.
Bon apetit,
Dude
The first snow of the season is poised to hit us today, which can mean only one thing: frozen hobo slushies for everyone! Of course that's only if the flesh doesn't thaw when I dump the bodies in the wood chipper.
Unrelated to snow is the attached announcement for some sort of workshop. The first 20 attendees will get free hobo slushies.
Bon apetit,
Dude
Christmas moolah needed
Holiday greetings, y'all--
Boy, can you believe it's almost December? That means one thing: my crazy uncle will probably get arrested again for stealing Salvation Army kettles in order to finance his addiction to platypus-skin ascots.
I guess it also means it's time to collect money to make the holidays a lot more enjoyable for ...
Ho ho ho,
Dude
Boy, can you believe it's almost December? That means one thing: my crazy uncle will probably get arrested again for stealing Salvation Army kettles in order to finance his addiction to platypus-skin ascots.
I guess it also means it's time to collect money to make the holidays a lot more enjoyable for ...
Ho ho ho,
Dude
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Workshop
Studes--
Thanksgiving always reminds me of those special things I experienced as a child. The aroma of the turkey cooking in the oven. Getting up to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving parade on TV. And of course the blood. Dear god! So much blood!
To help clear your mind of any such memories, you can attend this workshop the day before Thanksgiving.
Bon apetit,
Dude
Thanksgiving always reminds me of those special things I experienced as a child. The aroma of the turkey cooking in the oven. Getting up to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving parade on TV. And of course the blood. Dear god! So much blood!
To help clear your mind of any such memories, you can attend this workshop the day before Thanksgiving.
Bon apetit,
Dude
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Workshop
Studes--
Dang, can you believe that it's almost Thanksgiving? That means I'm really going to have to start preparing for the holiday right now if I'm going to find enough used heroin syringe needles to stuff my turkey. Of course I don't know why I even bother because I'm sure nobody will show up to dinner. Again.
But you can get some pre-holiday excitement going if you attend the workshop detailed in this forwarded e-mail.
Bon Apetit,
Chef Dude
Dang, can you believe that it's almost Thanksgiving? That means I'm really going to have to start preparing for the holiday right now if I'm going to find enough used heroin syringe needles to stuff my turkey. Of course I don't know why I even bother because I'm sure nobody will show up to dinner. Again.
But you can get some pre-holiday excitement going if you attend the workshop detailed in this forwarded e-mail.
Bon Apetit,
Chef Dude
Monday, October 25, 2010
Workshop
Hi, Studes--
Do you know what I love most about attending science workshops? I'd have to say it's that moment right after I hand out the pork fat necklaces and right before I lock the doors and release the rabid pit bulls. Either that or it's the free bottled water.
Anyhow, you can find out what YOU love the most about attending science workshops if you go to the one in this forwarded e-mail.
Cheers,
Dude
Do you know what I love most about attending science workshops? I'd have to say it's that moment right after I hand out the pork fat necklaces and right before I lock the doors and release the rabid pit bulls. Either that or it's the free bottled water.
Anyhow, you can find out what YOU love the most about attending science workshops if you go to the one in this forwarded e-mail.
Cheers,
Dude
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