Studes--
Sometimes I wake up at night screaming. Then I come to my senses and realize it's because I'm getting punched in the face by my neighbor while I'm standing in his kitchen. Luckily this forwarded e-mail isn't going to make me scream any time soon.
Enjoy,
Dude
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Distinguished Lecture
Studes--
Boy, this rain is really bringing me down. I need something to cheer me up. Perhaps going to the cemetery right before a funeral and standing next to an open grave with a napkin tied around my neck and a knife and a fork in each hand would perk me up. Or else I can glean some sort of satisfaction by sending you this announcement.
Bon apetit,
Dude
Boy, this rain is really bringing me down. I need something to cheer me up. Perhaps going to the cemetery right before a funeral and standing next to an open grave with a napkin tied around my neck and a knife and a fork in each hand would perk me up. Or else I can glean some sort of satisfaction by sending you this announcement.
Bon apetit,
Dude
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Green Conference
I am sending this e-mail to encourage you to join me in my fight to get the Food and Drug Administration to declare nose hair as a new food group. I am also sending this e-mail to forward another one of those conferences to you.
Bon apetit,
- Dude
Bon apetit,
- Dude
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Workshop
Studes--
The sunshine. The blooming flowers. The desire to skin a dead hobo and use the hide to make a pair of festive Cinco de Mayo lederhosen. These are all signs of the spring. Another sign of spring is this forwarded workshop e-mail.
Enjoy,
Dude
The sunshine. The blooming flowers. The desire to skin a dead hobo and use the hide to make a pair of festive Cinco de Mayo lederhosen. These are all signs of the spring. Another sign of spring is this forwarded workshop e-mail.
Enjoy,
Dude
Disregard copier collating tip
Hi, photocopying afficianados--
Please disregard my e-mail from last week explaining how to collate with the new copier in the basement. It seems the "expert" from the company doesn't even know how to operate his own machine. So if you try to make collated copies as he suggested, you'll still get two copies of each page come out one after the other. It's just that each set of the same page will be offset from the set of pages that print before that set. If and when Braniac lets us know how to collate correctly, I'll let you know.
Cheers,
Dude
Please disregard my e-mail from last week explaining how to collate with the new copier in the basement. It seems the "expert" from the company doesn't even know how to operate his own machine. So if you try to make collated copies as he suggested, you'll still get two copies of each page come out one after the other. It's just that each set of the same page will be offset from the set of pages that print before that set. If and when Braniac lets us know how to collate correctly, I'll let you know.
Cheers,
Dude
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Workshop on the Glbl Env
Studes--
On rainy spring mornings, I like to sip apple cider while listening to classical music. Then I think of all the great things about life that I am grateful for. Then I shave my neighbor's dog and glue live mice to the pooch just to see if my neighbor notices. I'm guessing she doesn't notice since it is a seeing-eye dog.
Then I like to forward a workshop announcement to you. So my work here is done.
Party on,
Dude
On rainy spring mornings, I like to sip apple cider while listening to classical music. Then I think of all the great things about life that I am grateful for. Then I shave my neighbor's dog and glue live mice to the pooch just to see if my neighbor notices. I'm guessing she doesn't notice since it is a seeing-eye dog.
Then I like to forward a workshop announcement to you. So my work here is done.
Party on,
Dude
Monday, April 05, 2010
Vacation correction
Hello again--
I was so giddy thinking about Potsie eating rotting flesh that I goofed up the dates of my vacation. I will actually be leaving this Wednesday, and will return to work next Wednesday. Sorry for the confusion. But I'm not sorry for that damned Potsie!
Cheers,
Dude
I was so giddy thinking about Potsie eating rotting flesh that I goofed up the dates of my vacation. I will actually be leaving this Wednesday, and will return to work next Wednesday. Sorry for the confusion. But I'm not sorry for that damned Potsie!
Cheers,
Dude
He gone!
Greetings, y'all--
What could be better than experiencing 80-degree weather in the beginning of April? For sure it would be burying Anson Williams--the guy who played Potsie on "Happy Days"--beneath a mound of festering, rotting Easter hams and watching him eat his way out. But what also would be good is going to Florida for a week, which is what I will be doing starting this Wednesday. I'll be returning to work next Wednesday. So if you have any pressing issues, please contact me today or tomorrow so I can try to take care of them before I leave.
Party on, rotting ham style,
Dude
What could be better than experiencing 80-degree weather in the beginning of April? For sure it would be burying Anson Williams--the guy who played Potsie on "Happy Days"--beneath a mound of festering, rotting Easter hams and watching him eat his way out. But what also would be good is going to Florida for a week, which is what I will be doing starting this Wednesday. I'll be returning to work next Wednesday. So if you have any pressing issues, please contact me today or tomorrow so I can try to take care of them before I leave.
Party on, rotting ham style,
Dude
Monday, March 15, 2010
Glbl Wkshp
Studes--
It's Tuesday, which means I've come to work wearing my favorite pork loin pants. Oh, sure. The maggots do tickle a little bit, but at least that keeps my mind off the stray dogs that chased me to the bus stop this morning. And the homeless guy who was licking my pant legs. And the schizophrenic homeless guy who told started screaming that the maggots were telling him to kill.
Luckily I can keep my mind off my meat pants woes by forwarding this e-mail to you.
Feeling both hungry and repulsed,
- Dude
It's Tuesday, which means I've come to work wearing my favorite pork loin pants. Oh, sure. The maggots do tickle a little bit, but at least that keeps my mind off the stray dogs that chased me to the bus stop this morning. And the homeless guy who was licking my pant legs. And the schizophrenic homeless guy who told started screaming that the maggots were telling him to kill.
Luckily I can keep my mind off my meat pants woes by forwarding this e-mail to you.
Feeling both hungry and repulsed,
- Dude
Monday, March 01, 2010
Global Env Wksp
Studes (a.k.a. student dudes)--
With the start of another work week comes the responsibility of knowing that it is up to me to spend every waking moment striving to bring peace and love to the world. And if that doesn't work, then I can also fall back on my other responsibility, which involves sniffing model glue and imagining that Betty White is dressed like a Las Vegas showgirl with fishnet stockings on her walker.
But I digress. Here's another one of those Global Workshop e-mails.
Cheers,
Dude
With the start of another work week comes the responsibility of knowing that it is up to me to spend every waking moment striving to bring peace and love to the world. And if that doesn't work, then I can also fall back on my other responsibility, which involves sniffing model glue and imagining that Betty White is dressed like a Las Vegas showgirl with fishnet stockings on her walker.
But I digress. Here's another one of those Global Workshop e-mails.
Cheers,
Dude
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
