Unexpected time off

Greetings, —

Well, it looks like I’ll be taking some unexpected time off.  It turns out I guess you CAN’T legally pull into  a small town on a horse-drawn buggy and sell a rheumatism elixir made up of Gatorade, drain cleaner, and angel dust.

The first five people who respond to this e-mail will get some of my rheumatiz medicine!

Cheers,

Dude

I'm southbound

Greetings —

It’s time again for my annual trip to visit my mom in Florida, and I’m planning on chilling out big-time.  Which brings up a question:

If I get skin cancer from soaking up too much sun while really relaxing by the pool, would it be called a mellownoma?

Your own little ray of sunstroke,

Dude