Green Conference

I am sending this e-mail to encourage you to join me in my fight to get the Food and Drug Administration to declare nose hair as a new food group. I am also sending this e-mail to forward another one of those conferences to you.

Bon apetit,

- Dude

Workshop

Studes--

The sunshine. The blooming flowers. The desire to skin a dead hobo and use the hide to make a pair of festive Cinco de Mayo lederhosen. These are all signs of the spring. Another sign of spring is this forwarded workshop e-mail.

Enjoy,

Dude

Disregard copier collating tip

Hi, photocopying afficianados--

Please disregard my e-mail from last week explaining how to collate with the new copier in the basement. It seems the "expert" from the company doesn't even know how to operate his own machine. So if you try to make collated copies as he suggested, you'll still get two copies of each page come out one after the other. It's just that each set of the same page will be offset from the set of pages that print before that set. If and when Braniac lets us know how to collate correctly, I'll let you know.

Cheers,

Dude

Workshop on the Glbl Env

Studes--

On rainy spring mornings, I like to sip apple cider while listening to classical music. Then I think of all the great things about life that I am grateful for. Then I shave my neighbor's dog and glue live mice to the pooch just to see if my neighbor notices. I'm guessing she doesn't notice since it is a seeing-eye dog.

Then I like to forward a workshop announcement to you. So my work here is done.

Party on,

Dude

Vacation correction

Hello again--

I was so giddy thinking about Potsie eating rotting flesh that I goofed up the dates of my vacation. I will actually be leaving this Wednesday, and will return to work next Wednesday. Sorry for the confusion. But I'm not sorry for that damned Potsie!

Cheers,

Dude

He gone!

Greetings, y'all--

What could be better than experiencing 80-degree weather in the beginning of April? For sure it would be burying Anson Williams--the guy who played Potsie on "Happy Days"--beneath a mound of festering, rotting Easter hams and watching him eat his way out. But what also would be good is going to Florida for a week, which is what I will be doing starting this Wednesday. I'll be returning to work next Wednesday. So if you have any pressing issues, please contact me today or tomorrow so I can try to take care of them before I leave.

Party on, rotting ham style,

Dude